.... Still developing....

Bebe, you turn 70 tomorrow!!
mr. Smarty Pants finds himself wth an xtra hour this morning. I forgot to move clocks last nite!!

But I'm glad... Bcauuse it has given me a chance to seriously, sincerely, and happily say THANKS to God... For you!

Bebe, I have 4 other people asleep right now who sadly have learned what you know... That Rob can hurt you like few others. I look back, on my growing up AND on yday, and see how my words and gestures and actions hurt those I claim to love. I am not despairing... I know Jesus has borne my sin and "my chains are off my heart is free". And I also know that I'm realizing more what exactly He paid, in terms of my hurting people.

Bebe, you were a great mother to me in childhood....
Going to my All-Star games, you always helped me "get into" what we we were doing. Buying 25 Summit candy bars is my biggest memory.
I remember the tenderness you showed to me when I finally got up the courage to ask if you could take me to a dermatologist for my acne. You taking me and terry and clint (and letting us each bring a friend!) to grandma's each summer. Looking back on you doing that by yourself floors me. Thank you!

Parenting is so hard! I am seeing for myself right now. I have zero memories of you ever communicating that I was a bother to you or that you were ashamed of me. When I look at my own silent communications to my children I cannot say the same thing. And when I think of how I treated Terry & Clint--my brothers & your sons--oh, how my heart breaks for what that must've been like for you. I am so sorry and still count my self-righteous/mean attitude toward them as one of my biggest regrets in life.

Random:
--I love my Methodist roots
--- the freedom you gave me at 22 to move 10 hrs away from home with no guilt... And you have never wavered in that, neither Calfornia nor Gainesville have you tried to keep us from.


----I am proud to be from stk
---I fondly remember being puiblic skool teacher's son (what a servant's podition)

....Unfinished...