Thursday, February 17, 2005

One chap's conversion to faith in Christ

"I became aware that I was holding something at bay, or shutting something out. Or, if you like, that I was wearing some stiff clothing, like corsets, or even a suit of armour, as if I were a lobster. I felt myself being, there and then, given a free choice. I could open the door or keep it shut; I could unbuckle the armour or keep it on. Neither choice was presented as a duty;
no threat or promise was attached to either, though I knew that to
open the door or to take off the corset meant the incalculable.
The choice appeared to be momentous but it was also strangely
unemotional. I was moved by no desires or fears. In a sense I was
not moved by anything. I chose to open, to unbuckle, to loosen the
rein. I say `I chose,' yet it did not really seem possible to do
the opposite. On the other hand, I was aware of no motives. You
could argue that I was not a free agent, but I am more inclined to
think this came nearer to being a perfectly free act than most I
have ever done. Necessity may not be the opposite of freedom, and
perhaps a man is most free when, instead of producing motives, he
could only say, `I am what I do'. --CS Lewis

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